I was stuck. I had low self esteem, limiting beliefs, shitty relationships and knew I was completely unlovable.
When I was little, I was a very serious child. I am a child of an alcoholic - and that experience left me with traumas and lots of fucked up beliefs.
I was terrified of what everyone thought, I had no energy - and I had a deep lack of confidence.
I picked all the wrong men. Men who would cheat on me. Men who would treat me poorly. Men who would make me “work” for their affection.
And I used all the possible vices to numb my pain - drugs, s*x, food, TV...you name it. But nothing brought lasting relief.
Even after marrying my (now) husband it was an emotional rollercoaster (by emotional I mean curled up crying on the bathroom floor feeling like no one would ever love me).
And then my son came into the world! He has such a bright light I knew I had to protect it.
In the midst of making money only to lose it again and again, my marriage on the brink of falling apart I knew I had to find a way to do things differently.
That I was the biggest threat to my son's happiness. I knew I was modeling behaviors that showed my son a depressed half live was the way to live life.